Kaoruhi?
by charrybarry
Summary: Hikaru makes Kaoru dress up like Haruhi for a prank, but what will happen when it backfires? Possible two shot WARNINGS: TWINCEST, LEMON, CROSSDRESSING I don't know why but all my lemon one shots so far have involved crossdressing. Don't like, don't read.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Ouran, Haruhi would've gone off to college during her freshman year, Hikaru and Kaoru would already be together, Tamaki and Kyoya would be together, and Hunny and Mori would be famous. ^_^

**WARNINGS: **If you actually like the Lobelia girls, you will NOT after reading this! Along with twincesty lemony goodness!

"Haruhi! Haruhi! Are you in there?!" Hikaru yelled outside the apartment complex. About thirty seconds later Haruhi opened the door, looking at the twins confused.

"Hikaru? Kaoru? What're you doing here?"

"Hey, don't ask me. This is all Hikaru's idea, he wont even tell me." Kaoru said glaring at his brother as the made their way inside.

"I want it to be a surprise!" Hikaru chirped, both Kaoru and Haruhi rolled their eyes, sitting down on the mats of her floor.

"So… you still haven't answered my question." Haruhi urged.

"The rest of the host club is going to be arriving here in an hour or two-" Hikaru began.

"What?! But… but…" Haruhi panicked.

"Calm down and let me finish!" Hikaru said. "As I was saying, when the boss called and told us, I told him we couldn't make it-"

"But-" Haruhi tried to say.

"Shush! We're here because we want to mess with him a little…"

"Okay… and why do I need to know this?"

"Because Kaoru is going to take your place."

"What?!" Both Kaoru and Haruhi yelled, Hikaru smirked and took two wigs, some make up and contact cases out of his bag.

"Hikaru! You never asked me if I was okay with this!" Kaoru yelled.

"You would've said no!"

"Damn right I would've! I'm not doing this!" Hikaru rolled his eyes and whispered something in Kaoru's ear, who blushed. "Fine." He muttered, Hikaru's smirk grew.

"What about my say in this?" Haruhi asked. Hikaru took out a medium sized black box out of his bag, and opened it. Haruhi's eyes widened with delight.

"Fancy tuna. All yours if you help us."

"Sure."

--

In a matter of about forty-five minutes. Kaoru had transformed into Haruhi, and Haruhi, to Kaoru. _I did good. _Hikaru thought smugly to himself.

"Hikaru. Do I _really _have to wear one of her _dresses_?" Kaoru whined from behind him.

"Of course." Hikaru said turning around to face his brother, in the brown wig, brown contacts, and as a special touch, pink dress. "It just makes it more convincing."

"I don't think I could make a convincing Haruhi, if you're telling me to _seduce_ the boss!" Kaoru pointed out.

Hikaru caressed his cheek. "He's too dense. Now all you have to do is put on that cute Haruhi voice and even _I _will have a hard time remembering it's really you."

Kaoru glared. "You owe me." He said in his "Haruhi" voice.

"Perfect."

"I see a limo pulling up!" Haruhi called, the image of Kaoru running over to them.

"Okay, show time! Kaoru you go sit over there! Me and Haruhi will hide in the other room." Hikaru said, pulling Haruhi with him.

Kaoru stood by the stove and waited for the host club to knock on the door. After a couple minutes he heard it. He walked over to the door, and after putting on his cutest Haruhi face he opened it.

"What the…" Kaoru said. Staring dumbfounded at the three girls in front of him.

"Hello maiden. Long time no see." Beni Bara said with a wicked smile. Kaoru's eyes widened in horror as she snapped her fingers and her two minions grabbed him with their surprisingly strong arms.

"No! Wait! Let me go!" From where Hikaru and Haruhi were sitting their eyes widened and ran to the door.

"Stop!" Hikaru yelled, he ran out the door with Haruhi at his tail.

"Never!" Beni Bara yelled as the shoved Kaoru into the limo.

"Help! Hikaru help!" Kaoru cried, but both him and Haruhi were too late, and the limo sped out of the parking lot and back into the streets.

"Damn it!" Hikaru yelled panting. Just then another limo pulled up and the remains of the host club got out. Tamaki looked at them.

"Hikaru? Kaoru? I thought you said you weren't coming?"

Hikaru growled and ripped off the red haired wig Haruhi was wearing. Tamaki's eyes widened.

"Haruhi?! W-Why are you dressed like Kaoru?"

"Long story." She said glumly.

"That's beside the point!" Hikaru yelled. "The lobelia girls have Kaoru!"

All the other host's eyes bugged out in terror, and Tamaki yelped.

"We must save him! Hurry! To lobelia academy!"

--With Kaoru--

"Look, you guys this is all a misunderstanding-" Kaoru tried to say.

"Nonsense!" All three of them chirped.

"No really! You guys have the wrong person!" Kaoru said desperately.

"Why whatever do you mean? You are the maiden!" Beni Bara said.

"No I'm not! See!" He took off the wig and contacts. All three girls gasped and then glared, it was then Kaoru realized that probably wasn't the smartest thing to do.

"Get him." Beni Bara said snapping her fingers again. In seconds Kaoru could no longer see anything. And he felt his arms being tied behind his back.

--With Hikaru and the others--

"How are we going to get in this time?" Hikaru asked. Tamaki opened his mouth, but then closed it again.

"Kyoya? What're you doing?" Haruhi asked, all the members turned to him.

"Be quiet. I'm calling the faculty… Hello? This is Kyoya Ootori." Haruhi rolled her eyes. _Trust Kyoya to get us into anywhere. Including Lobelia Academy, _she thought. Hikaru looked towards the school, _don't worry Kaoru. I'm coming._

--With Kaoru--

"For the last time! Where is the maiden!?" Beni Bara yelled at Kaoru who was glaring at her from where he was tied up on a chair. Her two minions glared even harder at him.

"I told you already! She's totally safe! She's with my brother!" He yelled straight back at her.

"You expect us to believe that garbage?!" She yelled.

"It's the truth! I am telling you she is safe and sound!"

Amazingly Beni Bara's glare softened, but soon turned to a smirk as she turned her head as though she was thinking.

"Hmm… Well even if you are telling the truth, that still doesn't solve our problem…"

"What problem?" Kaoru asked uneasily.

"The reason we went searching for the maiden was because we need her to play the lead in our next upcoming play." She turned back to him and took a step further, inspecting his face and the pink dress he still wore. "But… now that I look close enough _you _seem to have some good female qualities."

"Your joking." Kaoru accused.

"Oh, I assure you I'm not. We're still short a heroine."

"What makes you think I'll agree?" Kaoru spat.

Beni Bara's evil smirk grew wider. "You know what these two could do to you." She said gesturing to her minions. "Imagine what our band of female warriors could do to your beloved brother." She threatened, Kaoru's eyes widened in fear.

"No." He whispered.

"Yes." Beni Bara argued.

"Don't do this." Kaoru begged.

"I can do whatever I want." Kaoru stayed silent for a moment, searching for anything in the girl's eyes that said she was bluffing. But finding none.

"Fine. I'll do it… Just don't hurt him."

"Girls!" Beni Bara called. "Get him into a wig, a dress, and some make up!"

--With Hikaru and the others--

The host club ran throughout the halls of the massive school searching for anybody that could have any idea where Kaoru was. Finally they saw two of the zuka club members save for Beni Bara standing near the door of the theatre. Simply talking.

"Hey! You two!" Hikaru yelled, they looked up and smirked.

"Well it took you long enough." One of them said.

"Where is Kaoru?" Kyoya asked coolly.

"Wouldn't you like to know." The other spat.

"Let him go!" Haruhi said, stepping aside a few members. Both girl's faces lit up.

"Maiden! Oh, you're okay!" Both of them squealed.

"Look. I'm the one you want, leave Kaoru alone." Tamaki made a move to object but Hikaru covered his mouth.

"I wish we could." The girls said evilly. "But it's Beni Bara's orders that we don't."

"Why are you keeping Kao-chan hostage?" A meek and dark voice said amongst the hosts. Hunny and Mori stepped forward.

They didn't give the two girls a chance to respond. Before they knew it, they were tied up together, sitting down in a corner. And the host club burst through the doors of the theater, Hikaru leading.

He should've expected what they did to him. But he didn't, so he completely froze when he saw his Kaoru in heavy make up, a long red wig, and a huge ruffled orange dress. He and Beni Bara were on the large Lobelia stage. Beni Bara holding him in a dipped position, and leaning in. Though, he was too far away to see the tears springing up in his brother's eyes.

"No!" He cried just as their lips met. Kaoru's eyes flew open, hearing his brother's voice, and he struggled to get away, but Beni Bara's hold was strong. And she pressed into him harder.

She pulled away a few seconds later, still holding onto him she smirked at the rest of the frozen host club. "You guys have perfect timing." She said, with that she dropped Kaoru to the ground, who hit the stage with a yelp and Beni Bara ran out of sight.

"Get her!" Tamaki yelled and everyone except Hikaru followed her. Hikaru watched them leave for a moment before quickly making his way towards his brother.

"Kaoru." He whispered, bringing his brother into his arms. Kaoru let the tears fall onto his brother's shoulder, the make up smearing down his cheeks.

"Why…why would you let her do that to you?" Hikaru asked. Kaoru let out a choked sob from his throat.

"She was going to hurt you." Kaoru whimpered, Hikaru flinched, and held Kaoru's waist tighter. Suddenly Kaoru slammed his lips onto Hikaru's, with enough force to push Hikaru to the floor and put Kaoru on top of him.

"Kaoru." Hikaru moaned when they pulled apart for air, before his brother's lips collided with his again. He wanted his brother to forget everything about _her. _If it stung for him watching from the other side of the auditorium he couldn't even imagine how terrible his Kaoru must've been feeling. He barely registered his vest being ripped off his torso as he started undoing the zipper of the bright orange dress Kaoru was wearing. He had a terrible feeling taking off his clothes would take awhile.

He was correct. By the time Kaoru had gotten him stark naked the younger twin was only half undressed. Hikaru growled as Kaoru kissed down his chest and something registered to him. He ripped off one of the many layers of clothing off his younger brother, practically tearing the fabric in half. _Like I care how much it cost. _Hikaru thought as he did the same thing with the rest of his brother's clothes.

Soon, Kaoru was only in his boxers, and when he was just about to pull them of his brother all together-

"Ohhhh!" Hikaru moaned loudly when Kaoru took him into his mouth whole and sucked. Kaoru smirked and sucked harder. Hikaru's hands tangled themselves in Kaoru's hair to take him in more. Kaoru frowned and pulled away for a second to take one of the ripped strips of cloth that used to be a dress and tied his brother's hands together, then went back to his ministrations. He started to feel the heat pool into his lower half and Kaoru pulled away completely receiving a whimper from his disappointed twin.

Kaoru smirked again as he kissed him forcibly, while straddling him. He pulled down his boxers painfully slow, drawing out another long soft moan from his twin, which gradually got louder as Kaoru lowered himself onto his brother.

"Move…please Kaoru just move." Hikaru moaned. Kaoru lifted himself up before slamming himself back down, making them both moan loudly. Slowly but surely Kaoru started to ride faster, bringing out longer louder cries of ecstasy from both of them. They both knew that their climax was coming soon.

"Nngg.. Hikaru!" Kaoru shouted.

"Kaoru." Hikaru groaned as they came together. Kaoru pulled out with a final tired moan and laid next to him.

"Hikaru?" Kaoru asked, nuzzling his head into his brother's shoulder.

"Mm… yeah?"

"I don't have any clothes." Kaoru said meekly, Hikaru looked up and smiled.

"Don't worry, we have a whole variety of choices in that costume closet over there."

**Author's note:** Hmm… I don't exactly like how this one turned out. It was supposed to be funny, but I guess it just didn't work out that way. =_= Oh well. And it sorta turned out like that episode 19, although the ending wasn't like it at all ^_^ Tee hee hee! I was almost going to have Haruhi catch them, but I decided against it.

Should I make a second chapter? It wouldn't be series just a different ending to this one. The lobelia girls do NOT show up and the twins and Haruhi continue with their prank on Tamaki, whaddya think???????


	2. alternate ending

**Disclaimer:** Thank you for everybody who reviewed this story!! I really appreciate the support! :D KEEP ON ROCKIN MY SOCKS!

**Dedications: **SuikaChan555, MatterOfTrust, RockerGirl0709, leshamarieinuyasha, HikaruXKaoru4Life (ß awesome name ;D), and AnimeFreak4261

**WARNINGS: **TWINCEST, LEMON, SLIGHT KAO/ TAMA, BUT MOSTLY TWINCEST ^_^

--

_Okay, so this is just an alternate ending to the first chapter! What would've happened if the Lobelia team DIDN'T show up and capture Kaoru, and the prank went on as planned. _

_We're starting from when Haruhi is watching the door for the host club to come already dressed as Kaoru, and Kaoru and Hikaru talking._

Kaoru glared, "You owe me." he said in his "Haruhi" voice.

"Perfect."

"I see a limo pulling up!" Haruhi called, the image of Kaoru running over to them.

"Okay, show time! Kaoru you go sit over there! Me and Haruhi will hide in the other room." Hikaru said, pulling Haruhi with him.

Kaoru stood by the stove and waited for the host club to knock on the door. After a couple minutes he heard it. He walked over to the door, and after putting on his cutest Haruhi face he opened it.

"Hi Haruhi!" Tamaki squealed before he even had a chance to say anything. Kaoru pull a shocked and frustrated face.

"Tamaki sempai? What are all of you doing here?!" He demanded. Tamaki's face dampened a little.

"Well, we wanted to surprise you!" The Haruhi image took a deep breath, and then shined a cute smile. Tamaki blushed.

"Fine. Please come in." He said. Opening the door further.

"It looks like Haru- chan has cleaned up since the last time we came here!" Hunny piped. Kaoru gave an embarrassed expression.

"Well… I guess." Suddenly Kaoru thought of an idea. "I mean, it wouldn't be as nice, if Hikaru and Kaoru wouldn't have come over and helped me."

"What?!" Tamaki yelped, staring at him worriedly.

"Yeah. They're here right now. Hikaru! Kaoru! Would you come out here please?" Kaoru yelled. In a couple seconds Hikaru and Haruhi slid open the door leading to the other room stepping out.

"Hikaru! Kaoru! You said you weren't coming!" Tamaki scolded. Hikaru rolled his eyes.

"Gotcha." He shot back. Tamaki went to his corner of woe.

"Sempai! Please don't grow any mushrooms in the corner!…Please?" Kaoru asked. Tamaki looked at him sadly and shot up.

"We brought you some cakes Haru-chan!" Hunny shouted, handing him a box.

"Oh. Thank you." Kaoru said. "I'll go make us some tea to go with it." He said making his way to the kitchen. At first the various boxes and pots scattered all over the place were strange and foreign to Kaoru. But soon enough, the tea kettle was whistling and her poured the cups of tea into the differently designed ceramic cups. As Kaoru made his way back into where the other hosts were sitting he noticed his brother's arm slung casually around his form's shoulders. Although it was _him _that had his form at the moment. It was Haruhi. He could practically feel the jealousy heating his blood as he set the tray of tea down. Until he realized what the point of this prank was.

Kaoru smiled and sat down next to Tamaki. A little _too _close. "Wow. This looks great, doesn't it sempai?" He asked, Tamaki looked at "her" and blushed while nodding.

Kaoru turned his head away quickly, and slowly picked up a small cake, trying to be extra graceful with his movements. He quietly chatted with Mori and Hunny for a few minutes and then turned back to Tamaki, who looked to be quietly chuckling at something Kyoya had said.

"Oh, oops sempai you have some frosting on your face." he said and slowly traced his finger across a corner of Tamaki's lower lip, getting all the frosting off, once he had he put said finger in his mouth slowly sucking off all the sweet icing. Tamaki's eyes widened considerably.

"Uh…thank you, Haruhi."

"Sempai?"

"Yes, Haruhi?"

"Could I talk to you in the other room for a little bit?" Kaoru asked, Tamaki stayed silent for a moment.

"Of course." He said getting up, helping Kaoru up with him. Once they were both outside the room Kaoru slid the door shut and took him to a far off corner.

"Okay. I'm just going to get straight to the point sempai." Kaoru said sitting down, Tamaki following. "I like you, sempai. I really _really _like you." He said shyly.

"Haruhi-" Kaoru put a hand up, and slowly leaned in. He brushed his lips against Tamaki's and right before he was about to pull away, Tamaki pushed harder against him, bringing his hand to the back of his head, and the other one around his waist. Kaoru's eyes widened in shock. He didn't know what to do. If he had technically just "confessed" then what would he say if he suddenly pulled away? His thoughts were cut off as he felt a warm tongue run across his lips, and he gasped in surprise, unintentionally granting him entrance. This was going too far, Hikaru's plan was just for him to act flirty with maybe one light kiss in there, before leaving him dry. This wasn't ever supposed to happen.

"Kaoru?!" A voice demanded from nearby, Tamaki pulled away and they both looked at Hikaru standing in the doorway.

"Ne, Hika-chan! Kao-chan is right here!" Hunny said bounding into the almost empty room with Haruhi being towed by the wrist, both of their eyes widened at the sight before them. And Mori and Kyoya soon joined them as well.

"No he isn't." Hikaru glared at Tamaki.

"What?" Tamaki said standing all the way up. "Do you think _I'm _Kaoru. I think you need to get your eyes checked Hikaru. Kaoru is right there." He said pointing to Haruhi in confidence.

Hikaru glared harder. "No he isn't." He argued, walking up to Haruhi and snatching the red haired wig off her head. All the hosts gasped except Hikaru, Kaoru, and Haruhi. She carefully took off the golden colored contacts.

"B-But… if you're Haruhi. T-Then who's…" He trailed off, looking at Kaoru, who slightly glared at him, while slowly taking out his dark brown colored contacts and brown wig. The hosts gasped again. Tamaki went back to his corner of woe.

"So… Haru-chan, was really Kao- chan? And Kao-chan, was really Haru-chan?…Ah! Takashi I'm confused!" Hunny cried flying into the taller one's arms.

Suddenly Kaoru felt a strong hand grab his wrist and pull him towards the door. "Hikaru? What're you doing?"

Hikaru looked at him with fire in his eyes. "Let's go." He said with gritted teeth.

"B-but, I'm still in the dress!" Kaoru pleaded, but Hikaru didn't listen. He dragged Kaoru out of the apartment and down the stairs and to the front of the limo. Once they got there Hikaru threw open the door, shoved Kaoru inside and slid the wall up they had between the driver and themselves. Making sure all the windows were rolled all the way up he jumped onto his brother.

"Hikar-" Hikaru cut him off by pulling him into a demanding kiss. All lips, tongue and teeth. After they pulled apart for some much needed air, Hikaru started attacking his brother's neck and collar bone.

"Don't be jealous." Kaoru ordered. Hikaru looked up.

"I'm not." He insisted stubbornly.

"Uh huh. And your doing this why?" Kaoru asked unconvinced. Hikaru frowned and slammed his head into his brother's shoulder.

"You didn't do that on purpose did you? You didn't want him to do that did you?" He whimpered desperately. Kaoru smiled, and stroked his brothers red hair.

"Of course not." Kaoru said sweetly, he suddenly felt Hikaru smirk against his shoulder, and he lifted his head up to his ear to whisper seductively.

"Then you wouldn't have a problem with me doing this." He said.

"I never said I had a _problem _with it." He muttered, scowling at his brother's convenient quick change of attitude. He started kissing down Kaoru's neck again, as Kaoru worked on undoing Hikaru's vest. Hikaru growled and also started hurriedly ridding Kaoru of the dress Haruhi let him wear, accidentally making a rip in the fabric.

"Hikaru! That's… Haruhi's… dress!" Kaoru gasped, Hikaru just growled louder.

"We'll get her a better one!" He argued and drove his tongue into his twin's mouth again. Kaoru started unbuckling Hikaru's pants, moaning helplessly as Hikaru stroked him through his boxers.

When both the twins were in nothing but their underwear, Hikaru reached for their secret compartment where they kept the lube and took opened it up, pulling down his boxers and coating his erection in it. Kaoru eyed him with lust clouded eyes. Hikaru stared at him just as hungrily as he tore off his brother's boxers in one quick jerk of his arm.

Kaoru sat up and wrapped his legs around Hikaru's waist as he entered him, moaning loudly. Kaoru dug his nails into Hikaru's back, and Hikaru bit down on Kaoru's shoulder from the small pain, beginning to thrust.

"Um, master Hitachiins? We're here." Their driver's voice from the speaker said. Hikaru grunted and picked up the phone.

"We'll be out in a minute." He said and put it down again.

"Hikaru, I think we should really-" Kaoru was cut off by Hikaru starting to thrust again, while also starting to pump his horribly neglected member.

They were both getting close. They both knew it, and soon Kaoru heard Hikaru moan and felt a pleasurable warmth fill him and he came straight after.

Hikaru fell on top of his brother, and slowly pulled out. He chuckled softly after laying there for a moment. "If this is what I get, for dressing you up like Haruhi, I'd do it everyday."

--

**Author's note: **Tis done! Me amigos! Hope u guys liked this one as much as the last one! Cuz that's it! I'm gonna move on to bigger and better things with my one shots! Like that golfing one MatterOfTrust inspired! So expect from me soon! See ya!

-go play in traffic


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